S U N D A Y
The day started with Church and the passage was Song of Songs (Song of Solomon) 5:2-6:3. The sermon was focused on forgiving people and moving on toward growth. This passage is an example of a relationship between God and his children and I felt God was speaking to me through this-- showing me that he will love me even when I am not completely in love with him. He showed me that he uses conflict, or in my case dullness and detachment, for good-- to grow them closer to him. How am I to grow in him if I don't see my need of him?
M O N D A Y
Monday was busy! Four classes, homework galore, and an hour of volunteering later I was exhausted! I was so distracted I didn't even realize I was distracted. It was only until...
T U E S D A Y
...morning hit that I realized how little I wondered in Christ on Monday. I felt powerless because even on this fast I couldn't reconcile with Christ. Thankfully this verse was sitting on my desk-- it reads:
" and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority," -- Colossians 2:10
God reminded me, before 7:30 am, that he is more powerful than the devil and my flesh who used good things from the day before to keep me away from my only saving hope. I was refreshed and saw that if I was doing the fast to clean myself up, I was going to fail! No, God came to clean me and hears when I wearily cry out for him.
My devotional that day again reminded me of my perfect God. It was Genesis 50 verses 18-20. God showed me that he loves me unconditionally. Look at Joseph, he was able to love his brothers who sold him! Obviously God was working through Joseph and Joseph in this instance is meant to be a picture of the Loving God. I again praised him and asked for forgiveness for thinking I was powerful enough to help myself and for rejecting his help the day before.
W E D N E S D A Y
I came to Exodus 1 in my devotional. God ain showed me that he is more powerful than any evil force. Exodus 1 is about the Egyptian rulers who are trying to kill the Israelite baby boys, but midwives keep saving them. Pharaoh questions them and does not punish them! And these women are then blessed with families of their own. God works in mysterious ways!
T H U R S D A Y
God mercifully met me during a worship service. The service was over John 6:41-66 and the speaker noted that this life is like living in a civil war-- between the not yet and the already. Not yet meaning we have not yet been made perfect and clear of sin. We have not yet gone to heaven and are living with Jesus. But the already, where we have been made children of Christ and our records have been wiped clean. God showed me that he has meant for me to live in this civil war and to keep fighting with his power. The speaker then spoke about how God has each given us a community of family and friends to help us live in this inbetween stage. And how "ironic" that this passage was about Jesus being the bread of life.
"I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." -- John 6:36
F R I D A Y
This is when I started seeing the connection between events from the past couple days between what God was putting before me and my life. My roommate is literally the best. So we decided to have a bible study together and both of us were struggling with doubting Gods plans for our lives and patience when life seems mediocre. Together we read and discussed Psalm 27. I suggest reading it, it is so beautiful and has so many implications. Within the first three verses we saw that all of our worries were foolish and that we can have confidence in a God that is powerful and loving! Verses 7-9 were such a mirror of the purpose of our fast-- begging God to look at us and answer. The only thing was that going into the fast I was expecting sure answers about who I would fall in love with, what my career would be, and a guide on how to be happy. I may not have admitted this, but I really did not go into it wanting to grow in a relationship with Christ. Yet God heard my cries and had mercy. He knew that the only way for my soul to be happy was to have a relationship with him. It no longer mattered that I still did not have a boyfriend or was on the fence about my classes, all that mattered was that I had the Lord as my Savior, Friend, King, Lover, and Father.
I saw that I am constantly going to him for his gifts and not for him and yet all I really need is him. Thankfully he gave me himself even though I was not asking.
And as I am typing this Chris Tomlin's song "I Will Rise" is playing and oh how it matches what my soul is singing!:
"There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead"
Chris Tomlin "I Will Rise"
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